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I wanna know what love iiiiiis!

I don’t really talk about love (in the romantic sense) here, because, well, I don’t trust my heart. I haven’t since my breakup, another thing that I don’t talk about because,well, that’s what Christine and her fabulous Single on Saturday posts are for – love, relationships and all that fancy jazz. But I was in conversation last night with a friend of mine and we were talking about love and what we think it is. I tried to keep the conversation focused on Agape love and love for humanity, but she told me to “cut the bullshit” and open my heart, and I spit out some old beliefs that I still kind of believe, in theory. Am I right? I dunno. I’m more of a cynic than a romantic now, so I’m not sure about the existence of love in this sense. But here goes:

i think when that person’s happiness becomes an important part of your concern, when you want to see them grow to be the best person they can be, and support them in their endeavors, you can say that you love them. when you can see their flaws and imperfections and embrace all of who they are without trying to change them. when you can be honest with them and you can allow them to be honest with you and not take it personally, knowing it’s for the evolution of your spirit…

when you can recognize the God/dess in them, when you can call that person your friend, when you connect with that person on multiple levels, and when you recognize and appreciate the balance they bring to your existence without trying to be their everything, or make them yours. we should complement (not complete) each other….

 when you are willing to step away if the situation requires it, and fight when it’s time to fight (for the relationship – not physically). it takes time for that type of love to build and strengthen, which is why I don’t believe in love at first sight, and I don’t believe you can love someone in a matter of months (that’s lust and deep like). it takes a lot of SELF examination and SELF love to really be able to love someone else. that’s work that many people refuse to do, either out of fear or laziness, or they expect someone else to do it for them. i also think that people forget that love is something you DO – not something that you feel….

 the relationship doesn’t have to last forever, and the love can and will change over time, but it is essentially always there…

 i think being “in love” is different. it’s not always instant and it’s not always a fleeting thing. the butterflies, the joy in waking up next to the person, not minding the smell of their farts, that kind of thing. it’s definitely not an “everyday is glitter and rainbows” kind of thing, but it’s there, whether it’s a slow simmer, or a vigorous boil.

i used to want to be in love with my future wife forever. now, I just feel immense joy when my close friends get engaged, married or committed in some fashion, and resign myself to a nice bottle of wine, the latest True Blood episode (#EffSookie #TeamTara) and a good book…

~Nitra

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2 comments on “I wanna know what love iiiiiis!

  1. Reblogged this on Kevs' Blog and commented:
    Yeah, Me as well. 😦 😦

  2. Beautiful post. With a heart and understanding like that, how could you fail to find love again? In my (very lucky and grateful) experience, it turns up in the most unlikely place and time. : ))

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